For the record...

I got another "chin up" on Sunday night at church. Perhaps it's just a Kiwi saying...

I'm going fishing today! YES! I miss fishing soo much!

Bye and stuff!

La La La

Nothing new. Studying for my midterm that I have to take before the end of the week.

Fiona and John are back. They told Vanessa she wasn't allowed to move back home just yet - she has to learn that her decisions have consequences and sometimes you need to deal with them. So no Vanessa coming home, even though she wants to.

Good and bad all at once, I think. I kinda miss her.

Tonight was fish n chip night again. I was over at Rae's super early...like before Donald (her son) even got home from school to do some studying and practice shooting some pool. I was the only one there. It felt like home in so many ways...

But I really don't want to write this exam. I'm not looking forward to it.

Not much else is new. I'm going fishing on Thursday with Iain and Belinda (from my small group at the prezzy church)...Iain's gunna score me a 24 hour fishing license. I'm excited. Fishing for trout. Never done it before.

That's about all. I wish there were more positives to report but unfortunately, life happens sometimes. And when it happens, it sometimes sucks. You gotta learn to deal with it and move on.

That's what I choose to do.

Juuuuuuuust Relaxin'

Well John and Fiona have been gone since Wednesday, and I realized only today that yesterday was my 9 year anniversary for busting up my leg. I believe it was on the 23rd of March...right? I think so...

It was a Sunday in 1997 so that has to be the date...and therefore, yes it was yesterday. Wow...how weird!

It's funny how life changes and how everything happens for a reason. I wouldn't be here today if I was still dancing, that's for sure...life would be very different.

So tonight I'm celebrating. I'm making my very first lasagne all on my own. Okay so I bought the precooked noodles and jar of sauce and pre-shredded cheese but give me a break here! hehe...

It's in the oven right now and I also bought some hot dog buns (or "long rolls" as they call them here) and garlic butter. I'm gunna make a salad, too...I think this will be a nice little quiet evening.

I rented 3 movies. HA! There are three different genres: Action (Mr. & Mrs. Smith which I heard was terrible but I'm giving it a go anyways), Comedy (Christmas with the Kranks, which I also heard wasn't all that great but I wanted to see it) and Children (Five Children & IT, which has the little boy from Finding Neverland and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - it looks cute).

So it's going to be a nice night with great food (and far too much of it...I went all out on this dang lasagne!) and wonderful company (NOBODY! WOOHOO!)...and that is all.

Congratulations to Jo and Chris Smith - their first baby is due October 15th!!! YAY!!!

(Okay so I've been bugging them to have a baby since before they were married...I'm allowed to be super excited!)

The End!

Youth Youth Youth

Tonight's youth group was the regular set of junior high boys that always come. I really do love those kids.

We played a few really great games, but for the time period that we have, it's so hard to keep up with filling time and it all ends up being games.

My only other official leader didn't show up tonight...not cool.

The boys really enjoy the nights. I'm just afraid that I'm going to run out of game ideas. However, they are completely okay with repeating the same games we've done before. They always ask if we can play "the chocolate scramble" game again...among others. So I know I probably could never bore these guys even though I've already run through close to my entire game roster when I thought it would last me about 6 months.

I am not a games person. I never have been. I've been told before that because of this, I will not make a very good youth pastor. I don't know if that person meant it as harsh as it sounded...but that one statement has haunted me for quite a while now...but the kids have wanted to give suggestions and run games and all that stuff so I'm glad they're enjoying it.

The Edge (the official junior high program) is starting on 7th April, and Fusion is changing to only 14-18 year olds and being bumped to Saturdays starting 8th April. I just need to figure out a direction to take the older kids...they're so much harder to plan for, I find.

But I'll figure it out, I'm sure.

Tonight we talked about being the class clown and respecting eachother by not being so disruptive even if we think we're being funny. It really applies to one boy in particular, but it didn't sink in whatsoever. Ha. Why did I think he'd listen? hehe...

Things are calming down here a little bit. There are going to be some big changes happening within this week, which I think will be really good for me and for the ministry in general. Because really, if I'm spiritually and emotionally drained, then the ministry is directly affected, sadly...

But this will be a good week, I think. Big changes. Some unwelcome, but that's how it has to be.

Now I am going to read my comics for the night and try to get some sleep - open house tomorrow afternoon and I have a big job to do on my room before then.

Bye and stuff.

Visiting Night

So today has been mostly a day of trying to sort out my head and heart. I talked to mom on the phone. That was good...and I got to talk to my brother.

Happy Birthday, Mike!

I also talked to my mom's cousin (so my cousin, I guess) Lynne from up in Ottawa. It was really good to talk to someone who knows me well enough but is also quite objective in all these situations, so it turned out really well.

One thing that she suggested was to hang out with the people who support me and care about me here. Even though I have the house to myself this week, it's healthy for me to get out and be with the positive people surrounding me.

So tonight I went to Bethany's (one of the younger women from the Prezzy church - we work well on worship team together and she holds small group at her house every week) for some ice cream and tea. We talked a bit, but mostly we were watching the Biggest Loser. While eating ice cream. Ha.

She is the complete opposite of what I thought...she reminded me in so many ways of my friend Monique...in the way she speaks and her looks and she seems to be so reserved in a lot of ways. But she's actually just a goof at heart, and her love language is sarcasm and taking the mickey outta ya.

She makes fun of me a lot. Ha. That makes me happy.

So then afterwards I went to Belinda's place - she is also from the Prezzy church. She's probably one of the closest people to my age around here that I can hang out with (she's 27). We started planning a road trip up the coast and into Christchurch and back down the centre of the South Island. It was good to sit and talk about our cross cultural experiences, because she was an au pair in Boston and so we had a long talk about culture shock and all the different words that they use here compared to in North America.

So all in all, today has been fairly emotional in some ways but have been looking up. I'm still feeling down but tomorrow I'm meeting with Karl about some issues that have been going down around here. So hopefully tomorrow will be better. And hopefully I can get a hold of Emma when I try again tomorrow.

The End.

Hopefully tonight won't include another spell of insomnia. But I feel it coming on again...*trying to be positive, however*.

Goodnight.

Chin Up, Jacquie...

I've been forced to question where my lifeline runs from. And where it runs to.

Things are so hard here right now. I can't go into much detail because this is a public website...I find myself feeling sorry for myself more and more each day and it's really hard to stay focused.

Again, when I think homesickness has taken a one way trip out of my heart, it comes rushing back and I've even caught myself thinking that I want to come home. Even saying it out loud.

I feel like while I'm in my weakest, everyone is making choices and changes to become stronger. And I feel like I'm being left behind. Forgotten. I know it's a silly thought but it's not just a single occurance here.

I'm feeling a lot like a failure, to be honest, about this whole job. I'm lonely and fed up with some of the drama I'm encountering both in this country and back in Canada. But I'm mostly fed up with the drama in my own heart. And I want to run away from it.

That's what I do best, after all.

I'm sorry this isn't a very pleasant entry but I feel like I need to be honest. I can't sugar coat every entry.

It just sort of feels like it's all coming down around me...all at once.

But I shouldn't be feeling sorry for myself - things could be much worse, for sure.

"Chin up, Jacquie." - two completely different people in one night

Time Difference Screw Up

So I was wrong about your daylight savings time. Turns out you all don't switch it up for a while now.

So to confuse you more, I'm only 17 hours ahead of Calgary and 15 hours ahead of Ontario. I think.

Ok it's 9:15 right now for me. That means in Calgary it's 2:15 and in Ontario it's 4:15. Got it?

Good.

When your time changes, figure it out yourself. ha.

Daylight Savings

As you all know, it's that time of year for daylight savings switches.

God has to have a sense of humour, as I'm sure He's already had a chuckle or two at me trying to figure out time differences on my fingers and toes. And of course to confuse things further, He put different parts of the world in different seasons so that when some are "springing forward", others are "falling back" and therefore making it much more difficult to figure out who's time in the what now world it is.

Yes, that was a purposely incorrect sentence.

Anyways...so as I am falling back and all you are springing forward, it now creates a 2 hour time difference from when we already were.

Say it's 12 noon here in New Zealand...in the old time it would be 4 pm in Calgary/Cranbrook and 6 pm in Hamilton/Caledonia/Fisherville.

Now that I've fallen back and you haven't sprung forward yet, that noon is now 11 and you are still in 4 and 6. And in a matter of hours that noon for me will be 11 and you will all be in 5 and 7.

So to make it somewhat simpler...I am now 18 hours a head of Alberta and 16 hours a head of Ontario.

To make it simple in Jacquie language. If you're in Calgary, count back 6 and think of it as tomorrow. If you're in Ontario, count back 8 hours and think of it as tomorrow.

Capeche?

Good. :) I didn't think so...hehe.

At least I understand it. And I hope I remember for when I call home...Ontario is almost opposite here so if I want to talk to my parents at a decent time (like when mom gets home from work) I have to call right when I wake up! Yikes. Or I could call before I go to bed and they'll all just be waking up.

This thinking hurts my brain.

Untitled

Tonight was supposed to be part of the 40 Hour Famine, but things fell right apart with all of that. I never ended up getting half my stuff from World Vision, no one ever got back to me about a venue and whether or not they actually needed someone to run it. How lame.

So instead I went to Dallas' 50th birthday party. Dallas is one of the guys on the youth trust committee that oversees my job. He's from the Baptist church and has been the most involved with the youth over the years. He's a really great guy. And it gave me a good opportunity to hang out with some of the older aged kids that are already going to church and stuff. So hopefully we can start getting some older butts in the seats.

It was fun. I hung out with one of Dallas' daughters and one of the twin boys that I often see around at the Baptist church when I'm there (and at Career Day when I was there...apparently I made a pretty good impression that day. haha). I enjoyed the night, though the first part was slightly awkward until I went into the kitchen to whine to the kids about the fact that I licked confetti and stuck it to my face and it left coloured stars and shapes all over...and I had to deal with it the rest of the night. Ha.

But from then on we hung out and I didn't feel so awkward anymore. It was pretty good.

So now I'm going to bed coz I have to play drums in the morning. Tonight was good. I'm also done house sitting now, which is sort of good and sort of sad. I really started to like those dogs. And the chickens even weren't so scary in the end (except when I decided to go into the pen with my pajama pants still on that are bright red with moose on them...apparently the chickens wanted to see if they were food).

I never went back to the pony paddock. I've been scarred for life. Ha.

Goodnight.

House Sitting

So I never got really any pictures from Fish n Chips the other night. I got a few of Roman, my Swiss friend. And a few of Dan and Roman playing pool but nothing good enough to post on this journal (sorry Aunt Marg). I'll get to it eventually, I promise.

So today, tomorrow and Saturday I am house sitting for a family from here in town. I've really only met them once or twice but they asked if I'd be interested in having my own place for a few days. So I'm on a farm! Sort of...

It's an amazing huge piece of land up on a hill with a gorgeous view. There are two dogs - Stirling is a GIANT piece of dog. I don't even know what kind he is but he's pretty massive. And Tessa is a little border collie puppy - only about 4 months old or so. I also get to take care of 3 cats. And about 2 dozen "chooks" as everyone calls them here. They're intimidating little things...following me up the pen as I walk past...crowding around me and staring with their little beady eyes and standing on one leg as if ready to pounce. I have to go in and collect the eggs, wash them off and make sure they get into the egg baskets at the B&B COTTAGES (!!!).

So house sitting here is no easy task. I have to prettymuch run these two little B&B's - since there are people certainly booked in for the weekend. I have to sort of be the information centre for them and make sure they know the rules, etc.

So I've felt completely inadequate already because one couple who just arrived got confused because I thought they would be checking into the Real Journeys place down in town for their Milford Cruise, but then they read the receipt that says "Depart from: Milford" so then they made me call and double check that it would be in Milford. Rather, the man made me. The wife has been quite understanding but the guy seems to be completely anal and particular and detailed. I don't think he understands the fact that I just got a crash course in B&B hosting yesterday.

The second group of guests hasn't arrived yet, but a little old lady and two of her bingo buddies (ha, I don't know if they really play bingo but that's my way of saying 3 little old ladies) came in asking for "any hope for a place to sleep tonight?" and of course I had to turn them away. Then they asked if I'd phone around to other B&B's for them to see if they could find a place to sleep.

...I DON'T KNOW OTHER B&B'S!!! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE THE DANG PHONE DIRECTORY IS IN THIS HOUSE!!!

ha...I wasn't really flipping out there but I called the only one I knew of (and the only reason I knew of it is because it's only a few houses down from Karl's house and I pass it everytime I go to his place) after rummaging through the house for the phone directory. I called them and made all the arrangements for these ladies to stay in the B&B owner's holiday house and sent them guessing their way into Te Anau because I had no idea how to direct them to 44 Moana Crescent (like I know the names of the streets! EESH!). Oh well.

So I've been here about 5 hours. I've been bitten by a chicken once. Nipped at and chased by a pony (I was just trying to be nice walking along and one of them went into a canter and reared back when I jumped at the sound of quick hoofbeats behind me). I was told that the ponies were friendly. I'm not too used to horses or ponies in general so I was a little edgy going in. But I tried to relax and turn on my animal charm that can tame the most vicious of cats. And what do I get?

NIPPED!

So after trying to get them to trust me (there's two of them - one was particularly untrusting and avoided me mostly and the other was just pushy and jumpy) I decided to leave. And realized that when I closed the gate behind me, paddock "base board" as I call it was slightly bent outwards, holding the paddock gate firmly closed when I tried to push it open.

This is after I had shouted "Fine! I'll go!", gave them a mildly profane piece of my mind, and an even more profane piece of my hand (namely a certain finger) as I frustratedly walked towards the gate.

The ponies must've known I was going to be locked in because as I was doing this, they followed right behind me. So now I was CORNERED in the paddock by two very pushy ponies. I could almost hear them taunting me in a mock italian mobster voice "Oh? Tough girl, uh? You wanna say that to our faces, uh?".

Actually, now that I think of it, it was sort of a Joe Pesci voice.

So, thinking on my feet, I sprang around, whipped out my numbchucks and fended off the rabids beasts before they got one hoof in front of the other!
POW! WHACK! THWAP!

And that was that.

...or I just figured that they thought I was letting them out, and then bent down, used my fingers to push back the warped piece of wood holding me in my corner of death and shouted "Whoa!" as the ponies tried to follow me out.

They didn't listen. Or stop. Or..."whoa". Whatever they're supposed to do when you say "Whoa".

Maybe that's just a horse thing.

So those are my adventures so far. I've carried chicken eggs in my shirt into the house. I've been bitten by a chicken while feeding them scraps. Nipped on the arm by a pony. Chased after and reared at by the same cheeky beast. Cornered and had my very life threatened.

I could see the newspaper heading "Canadian Twit Mauled to Death by Ponies".

Knowing me - I wouldn't be surprised.

Mavora Lakes

Well yesterday I bought a sleeping bag for myself. Not a tent - I planned on sleeping under the stars at Mavora Lakes.

When I got there and started getting my stuff together for a good 4 hour hike, I wanted to make sure I had what I needed to cook tea over a fire because by the time I got out to my destination, it would be about tea time. Then I would hike back to the car, drive to the part of the lakes for camping and spend my evening under the stars.

I then realized - did I happen to BUY the food I was going to have to survive on? Noooo! But I was willing to let that one slide. I did have other food - enough to last me until morning.

But then when I started on my hike, about 15 minutes down the path, it turned into a complete mud site for as far as I could see. And I was not prepared for mud, that's for sure. Not this kind of mud.

So I decided "well this may be a nice place to sit and read my bible" so I went down to the beach (not far from Frodo and Sam's location from their beautiful moment...

"I'm going to Mordor alone!"
"Of course you are! And I'm coming with you!"

Anyways...I sat down, opened my bag, put away my camera, took out my bible and then it started. 3 torturous minutes of SANDFLY ATTACKS.

Now this may not mean anything to you north americans, but sandflies are more of a pest than mosquitoes in the deep, dark cottage country of Northern Ontario.

And then I realized the other thing I forgot. Sandfly repellent. I meant to buy some, but forgot. And I know it sounds lame but because of that exact reason, I left the Mavora lakes after only a 2 hour and 15 minute stay.

You may think this is lame. However, when I got home and explained to people that I had to leave because of lack of food and sandfly repellent. Everyone said that it was ok without the food but the repellent was more important and they all agreed that it would have been a miserable rest of the day without it.

So I felt a little discouraged. But there had to be a reason in my leaving. So I left. But not before meeting a friend who was also going to Te Anau and planned on hitch hiking. His name is Roman and he's from Switzerland. He's been in New Zealand just as long as I have and is staying for another month. He's been backpacking around all the tracks and mountains and living out of his bag. It's so weird.

Anyways, it seemed perfect that his next destination was Te Anau. And I was the only person leaving the park at that time...no one else was even at the lakes except two other cars and they'd only just arrived! So this guy was gunna be really stuck - so I offered him a ride home.

It was a really good ride, we talked a lot about New Zealand itself and actually...we found out we're both Lord of the Rings fans. He was going to the youth hostel in town for two days and then is leaving for Milford Sound tomorrow morning. I told him that I could likely get him a free bed to stay in for those nights rather than having to fork out 25 NZD per night. So I gave Karl a call and they were happy to have him there.

He's coming for our weekly Fish n Chip night tonight over at Rae and Neil's place.

As far as I've gathered, he's not given much thought to God, except that he came across a lot of faith issues when he was doing his papers on Tolkien in school. He's 20, by the way, and just finished school - about to go into university and wanted to travel before then.

So yeah, it was a good time. He came to my place for tea (roast beef) and then we went to Karl's for a cuppa and I left at about 7:30. He's going to probably go see the movie about the Fiordlands over at the cinema and maybe get into the caves if the boats are running and if they're not full up. Then I'm picking him up at 6 for tea.

It's just been a really good thing to see that God has been using me and the people in this town to make him feel comfortable, save him a few bucks...be really friendly, etc. It's often relationships and hospitality that display God's love and I hope it will get him thinking.

So that, I believe, was my real reason for leaving Mavora Lakes. I had a good time and saw what I wanted to see.

So that's my story. I'll put pictures up soon of my LOTR findings and of Fish n Chip night coz I haven't had a lot of pictures of people from my church and who I hang out with. So I'll do that tonight.

The end!

Lord of the Rings, Here I Come!

Today is my day off.

And really, if you think about it, today is my real "Jesus Birthday" so I'm going to spend it out in the bush.

And by in the bush I mean I'm going to a few of the Lord of the Rings locations to check out the scenery. There are many of them close by so today I will be seeing parts of Fangorn Forest, the River Anduin, the Silverlode and Nen Hithoel. I will take pictures and it will probably look the same as all my Milford Sound pictures - nature and scenery. But that's okay because it will mean something to me...as lame as it sounds. Hehe.

So then I'm spending the night up at the Mavora Lakes (which is the actual name of the place that held the locations named above)...probably just sleeping in my car unless I go to the local hardware store and pick up a really cheap tent. I could probably borrow John and Fiona's but they're not home and I don't know where they keep it.

So if all else fails, I have my pillow and comforter and will sleep in the car tonight. This is about as "bush" as Jacquie gets so far. I really would like to sleep right under the stars, but that would require a sleeping bag. Which I don't have. So we'll see what my search brings me as far as equipment goes.

So I'm gunna go make me some lunch, pack my car, pinch some food out of the fridge to last me a day and take off!

Stay tuned for Jacquie's all-alone-at-night bush experience...

(don't worry mom. there are no wild carnivorous animals bigger than ferrets in this country.)

Byeee!

Happy Birthday to Me

Three years ago today (well, yesterday if you want to be literal - but I'm pretty sure that I'm not going to relate to 9/11 as really 9/12 because we're a day ahead...) I became a Christian in the Simpson Chapel at CBC in Regina.

I only just thought of that now...pretty weird where my life would have been today had things been way different.

This morning the "Covenant Players" drama team came to the Baptist church, and a lot of people from different churches around the town came to see them perform. They are an international Christian Drama group and were really quite funny.

I got up to speak beforehand, about the youth ministry and stuff because there were so many people and therefore they would be more informed. Most of the people at the Baptist church have no idea who I am even though I've been here 2 months.

Then we had an open house so I had to get out and find something to do for a while. I went to Bethany's - one of the younger ladies from the Prezzy church (also the piano player that I normally do worship with). We get along pretty well because we're fairly close in age (she's somewhere before 30 though I'm not sure of the exact age). Anyways, it was a pretty good little hour and a half because in the middle of one of Bethany's sentences, her almost-year-old daughter Hannah took her very first steps on her own!

She shrieked "Hannah just took her first st - SECOND STEP!" (she took two in a row and plunked over). She then ran outside to get her husband Richard and then we spent the rest of the hour or so with the digital camera trying to coax her back into walking but it was obvious her legs were getting tired from all that forced work.

I'd never seen a baby's first steps before. I was really proud to share that moment - it was magnificent!

So now I'm back in the house and we'll find out soon if we've got a buyer. Apparently someone has been fairly interested in it. We'll have to wait and see, I guess.

That's about all. Nothing overly exciting. Youth was good the other night. Not too big, still...but we had a couple new girls show up and I think they enjoyed themselves. We're having a movie night this Friday instead of the Famine because everything has seemed to fall through on that.

So much for 10-15 hours worth of Jacquie's work. Hmm.

C'est la vie.

Happy Jesus Day to Me!

EARTHQUAKE!!!

Today at a women's day at the church, I was helping to set up the sound and media stuff. And I stayed for the first part of it to support Corrie (one of the girls who was showing her thesis film she made) and Lynley (Karl's wife) who was doing an interpretive dance to one of the songs.

While Lynley was dancing, all of a sudden it felt like someone slammed a REALLY big door and the whole building jolted to one side quickly and settled back into place immediately. I wondered if I had only imagined it, it happened so quickly.

I turned around to look at Karl and he mouthed the word "earthquake" and I was absolutely stoked! I had just experienced my first earthquake and lived to tell about it! It was amazing!

I just found out it was a 4.2 class quake, which is barely one that you can normally feel. Apparently if it's anywhere under a 4, you don't even know it's happened. But this one was quick, and not violent at all. Just one big jerk of the building. Lynley describes that it feels like a big donkey just kicked the side of the house.

So it was cool. I'm excited that I can now say I've felt an earthquake!

Pathways Through Grief

So I completely forgot that I DID do something the other day that likely is worth writing about.

I went into Invercargill on Wednesday for a bit of a seminar thing - it was called "Pathways Through Grief", and most of the day was filled with seminars about different kinds of grief and how it affects different people and what we, as "professionals" should do to help these people.

Actually, I forgot to mention that it was, in fact, seminars on grief in regards to children and adolescents - hence where I come in and can actually get something out of it.

I had to drive all the way to Invercargill alone (I had never done it before), and not only that, but I had to do it in the dark (super early in the morning) on strange, wet, rainy roads. It was not a pretty situation. And since the speed limit along the roads is 100 knots, I was a little uncomfortable about it. But I went only about 80 or 85 until the sun came up, then the roads had dried off enough and I could see well ahead of me. It was actually quite a nice drive when I wasn't worried what surprise every corner and curve would bring me.

The day was alright. The first two sessions were outlining what happens when someone "suicides". It was really weird, because Barry Taylor, the speaker, kept saying "when someone suicides" or "her son suicided". And it didn't sound right to me. But apparently that's how they say it in these parts. It was a really good session, but the "optional" sessions that we had to choose to go to afterwards were not as helpful to me. I went to one called "Chronic Sorrow" which is what I thought to be the politically correct term for "depression". So I went, thinking I would learn some things about it and how to help people with depression. In fact, she was talking about people who have disabled children and family members and how chronic sorrow is different from grief because grief has an end to it...whereas there is no closure when you are the caretaker of a disabled child.

It didn't apply to my situation at all. But I got some really good stuff out of it, realizing towards the end that my family has had to deal with some of this stuff - my mom's cousins Monica and her brother Kevin and their families. It gave me more of an appreciation of what they're going through.

The other one was called "Strategies and Ideas of Working with Children and Adolescents". And to be honest it was a bit of a waste of time for me because the lady only really talked about children - not adolescents. She came up with games and fun little things to get kids talking without sitting down in a formal situation. But they certainly were not geared towards anyone over the age of 12.

In the end, I had been up since 5 am, drove for an hour and three quarters, went to an 8 hour seminar and finally got home at 6 after tea with Karl (he was at the seminar too and needed a ride home from me). It was good, though, to drive home because...well...I wasn't driving. Karl knows the car really well and I had a way earlier morning than he had so he offered to drive home. I was thankful because I was honestly beat and didn't know how I would've driven home safely. Ha.

So anyways...the day was alright. It was good to get out of the house for the day, though, and to feel like I was actually doing something productive towards the whole community youth worker position rather than just Jacquie the Youth Pastor.

Fusion is tonight (youth). I've yet to plan it completely. Better get to it.

Do do dodo do...

Not much to talk about these days.

Tomorrow is youth. I'm apparently taking it last minute, which is my speciality. I have wanted to come up with a program plan for the next year or so but it's really difficult for me to get motivated to do it right now.

It's hard to implement a structure in one area when there is no structure in any other aspect of the ministry as of yet.

Next week's focus - getting butts in the seats.

Tonight's focus - Trading Spouses. Ha.


It's been really great just spending time connecting with people in the churches and finding things to do with them. I just got back from a really beautiful evening drive with one of the youth trust board members. He is a fish and game officer so he took me to a few really great river fishing areas to check out if the fishermen had their licenses on them. We picked up hot chocolate on the way. His wife had a bunch of friends over and he didn't feel like being social. And I sat in my room all day and didn't want to be here any longer so I texted to see if he would be up for a hot chocolate.

It was great. I hadn't taken much time to go into the back roads around this area. It's easy to forget that the wonders of nature are almost right in your back yard in this country! I love it!

So Iain decided that we're going to get me a fishing license and he's going to teach me how to fly fish. And Rae's teaching me how to knit. I'm excited for all of this.

Anyways, there's not much to say I guess. Full House is officially an addiction of mine. Ack.

The end. :D

My Confession - Josh Groban

I have been blind, unwilling to see
The true love you're giving.
I have ignored every blessing.
I'm on my knees confessing

That I feel myself surrender
Each time I see your face.
I am staggered by your beauty,
Your unassuming grace.
And I feel my heart is turning,
Falling into place.
I can't hide
Now hear my confession.

I have been wrong about you.
Thought I was strong without you.
For so long nothing could move me.
For so long nothing could change me.
Now I feel myself surrender
Each time I see your face.
I am captured by your beauty,
Your unassuming grace.
And I feel my heart is turning,
Falling into place.
I can't hide
Now hear my confession.

[Bridge:]
You are the air that I breathe.
You're the ground beneath my feet.
When did I stop believing?

Cause I feel myself surrender
Each time I see your face.
I am staggered by your beauty,
Your unassuming grace.
And I feel my heart
Falling into place.
I can't hide
Now hear my confession.

--------
I love this song. It puts a lot into perspective. A lot = my heart.

Invercargill Trip

Last Tuesday at fish n chip night (the TCC people always have these nights on Tuesdays at Rae and Neil Wilson's place) Rae asked me if I wanted to come with her to Invercargill "on Monday" because she had a few things to do and thought it would be nice to get me out of the house for a day.

I didn't know what to expect because up until now, we haven't talked a whole bunch but I've been at her place every week and see her practically every Sunday for church. But I figured it would be a good time to get used to driving there and to hang out and whatnot.

So we drove in, talking the whole way and getting a lot off our chests. It was really great to know that someone was feeling the same way I am about a lot of things. We talked about church, about life, about our families, about everything. It was really good.

We didn't do a whole lot of specific things while we were there. She had to go to the optician for new glasses and then we just sort of wandered the shops and went for a cuppa at the little cafe inside one of the stores.

I had an iced chocolate. She had a chai latte. It made me happy. Reminded me of home a little. I don't like chai lattes at all but it made me happy. Ha.

We went into a few clothing stores and a music store (I played on the drums and guitars and mandolins and basses and guitars and guitars and guitars)...it was wonderful. We also went into a craft shop looking for a sewing machine (Rae was buying it for her daughter's 21st birthday), and I saw all the cute yarns and stuff (the feathery ones and super soft kinds) and decided that I think I want to learn how to knit. Just scarves coz I'm probably too lazy to try anything more ambitious. So we'll see what happens...I'm going back to Invers on Wednesday for a counselling seminar so I'll probably pick up some supplies. Ha.

Most of the day was just talking. It's something I really needed. I've been looking for someone to be able to talk to that is detached from my employment situation and is willing to let me vent in confidentiality. I think I may have found her.

She reminds me of me in 20 years or so. Minus the chai. Ha.

Well anyways I don't know what to say. Except that it was a great day. I've been up since 5:00 and it's now 6:45. I feel myself getting quite sleepy already. But I doubt I'll get much sleep tonight, since Matiu has decided he's sleeping with me tonight...Katrina's taken Wiremu to Invers for an operation so we've got the other 3 kids for the next 3 nights.

Joy.

Goodbye privacy. Goodbye all things in my food cupboard. Goodbye all things shatterable, tearable or otherwise destructible. I don't know if I spelled any of those words right. I don't even know if those words exist. Goodbye peace. Goodbye serenity. Goodbye any chance of getting work done.

...or maybe just..."see you later".

Well...I wish I had more to "report" but I've taken a self imposed quiet week the past while so there's not a whole lot.

The point of this email - I'm feeling good. I'm also feeling like taking Rae up on her "open door offer" to me while the kids are staying here. But who will guard my room? Hmm.

Bye! :)

Rugby. Love.

My name is Jacquie. And I love rugby.

I can understand it in my mind, but don't ask me to talk about it because I'd sound like an idiot. I don't know the terms or the exact rules.

It's like speaking french. When someone speaks to me, or I hear someone, I can usually get the general idea. But ask me to teach you how to speak it, or as me to explain the technical rules for it all...and I'd make a fool out of myself.

P.S. I also love Daniel Carter. Yay for cute kicking boys. hehe...

The Great Cook-Off!

Last night for youth, we didn't have use of the church because it was "World Day of Prayer" and this year it was the Prezzy Church's turn to host it in their building. So we were going to just all meet at the Playground and have a big rally again like our kick off night (which I wasn't too keen on because it means that we'd be doing a rally this week AND in two weeks for the 40 Hour Famine).

But around 2:00 the weather started to worry me. I knew that it was going to be next to impossible to have a decent bit of weather come 7:30 for Fusion. So I had to think fast.

So I gave up. Ha. I sat at home and though "Well where am I supposed to put a number of kids (anywhere from 5 to 20) indoors that isn't in the church? The baptists don't have their own building. The TCC doesn't have their own building. The Catholics and Anglicans still don't have any idea who I am...so I emailed Karl and said perhaps it would be fair to just put a note on the door saying that "Due to the bad weather, Fusion is cancelled but feel free to join us for world day of prayer".

Karl didn't feel too good about that idea because he knew it would be way too boring for the kids. Haha. I agree. But I didn't see much else. So Karl's wife Lynley offered for the kids to come over to their place and we'd just have a quieter night, playing video games and cards and just hanging out.

So I figured that was good enough. Now I just had to come up with enough "little group" games to keep us occupied for the night. I didn't know how many kids were coming so I didn't know what to expect and what to plan.

While I was searching a very helpful website (thank you Jody Wolf for this little hint - it's saved my bum every week so far) I saw the game "Iron Chef" ...which is, yes, exactly what it sounds like.

My brother and I, for a brief time period, would stay up til close to midnight (or later, I forget) to watch this Japanese cooking show where two chefs compete to see who is better at making fine cuisine in an hour using the theme ingredient. It's quite enjoyable, but of course, no person in New Zealand has heard of this show!

So I decided that instead of playing a bunch of little games, we would have one big Iron Chef competition - with me, Lynley and John as the judges in the end. They really took it seriously and did a WONDERFUL job! Honestly...I was quite glad I hadn't had tea yet coz I was certainly hungry.

The theme ingredient, you ask? Instant noodles and marshmallows. Ha. So they made an appetizer, a main dish and a dessert with the theme ingredients and a few other things I bought. It turned out really well and in the end, the girls won by ONE point.

But if you ask me, the boys should have won because they were only three 10 year olds and a 12 year old. And the girls were...five of them between the ages of 12 and 16. So the boys did great considering the huge age gap.

To be honest we were a little scared because most SMART kids would realize that they were getting leaders to eat WHATEVER they made. In this situation, I would have made it as gross as possible...but they really took it seriously and wanted to do a good job.

We've decided that sometime during the year we're going to do it again with more teams perhaps at different houses - make it more elaborate and have the kids bring anything that they might want to use (so I don't spent $40 this time), etc...

But all in all, it was a pretty good night. I got pretty close with more of the kids and started getting them excited about small groups that Dan and I should be starting up soon.

And the game helped them with teamwork :) Yay! And hanging out with people that they don't always hang out with...the girls aren't necessarily ones who hang out at school a lot but they worked together and got it done.

A successful night, if you ask me!


(oh, and the winners got to clean up the mess...hehe the girls did a fine job of that as well!)

Changes

I just looked outside while watching a movie and realized that it was snowing! It wasn't a lot and it didn't last for more than the 2 or 3 minutes I was watching...but it certainly was the lightest, most deceiving snow there had ever been!

The mountains are all clouded over. It's COLD. Like no warmer than 6 or so. The sun goes down later and the wind blows more often. Autumn is soon in the air!

But there aren't many changing colour trees around so it just won't be the same...

Life's Little Blessings

Okay so this is going to be super short. But I just needed to say that today has been really great.

I'm sort of feeling a little down lately - mostly because I'm getting sick, the weather has been cold and cloudy, and a little because I just went and bought a bunch of souveniers and had to spend most of the time thinking of people and if they would like it. So it got me a wee bit homesick.

Well this morning I noticed that Jen Hurrell wasn't at work. And I also noticed on her MSN that she had webcam capabilities, meaning that she really wasn't at work but at someone's place who had to have a webcam.

So we chatted for a few minutes whil being able to see eachother, and that was so great for me because I've been particuarly in a "I miss Jen" mood the past couple of weeks.

Well then we just realized a few minutes ago that we also have voice conversation capabilities! So I got to talk to Jen, face to face (sort of), and being able to hear her voice at the same time.

I know it probably sounds lame, but it just really made my day. Sort of gave me a little extra connection to home.

If only I could get motivated to get some work done...ugh.

A Little Something to Brighten Your Day

This is the latest "Sheldon" comic as found on www.comics.com ... I hope it makes you giggle like it made me giggle.



Heh heh..."Bird Flu"...those crazy Sheldon comics. They always make me giggle.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Good news: I finally fell asleep.

The bad? It was 5:30 am.

The ugly? My alarm went off at 8:30.


So I'm running on very little right now as far as energy levels go. But I'm actually doing alright. I might try to grab a nap before home group tonight (small group...cell group...bible study, whatever you want to call it) over at Bethany's.

I've discovered orange mango juice (with apple base). It's quite amazing. Probably my favourite juice out there. I plan to drink a lot of it. ha.

I just went to the petrol station to fill up my car for the first time since having it (I've gotta say, I've done well! Only one tank of gas for over a month!). I have to use a key to unlock the little door over the gas cap. And when I pressed "fill" and it only took about 45 seconds to click off, I thought I had the pump misplaced - so I adjusted the nozzle a little inside the tank, and kept pushing the button.

GAS CAME SPILLING OUT EVERYWHERE!!!

Apparently the petrol pumps here have the pressure of a fire hose! I was on empty and it took less than a minute to get to full! It was amazing! And yet, scary.

But probably not as scary as Karl's face when I tell him that an extra 3 or 4 dollars worth of fuel has baptised the ground beneath my car. hehe...

This is a bit of a lighter week, as Friday is only a games night so I don't necessarily have to write any messages. But perhaps I should get a head start if I want to lighten my load a little.

I've been trying to think of a practical "Ministry Gift" that I have to donate to the youth program...and a few things have come to mind but I'm just not sure what the perfect thing to do with that money is.

Oh for most of you who don't know, part of my ministry here (that is planned in the onSite program) is to donate a gift to the ministry or program you're working with...and my issue comes with knowing what to do. I know I have a lot of time here to sort it out but I'd like to get started on it as soon as possible.

I'm thinking that even though that back shed won't work for an office, it could suit quite well for a youth building. It's not very big, but certainly big enough for a couch, a couple chairs, a tv, a gaming system, a bookshelf and a coffee/tea station...it requires a lot of work to get the inside suitable. Proper walls, a decent carpet before anything else...a coat of paint...

It'll be like my own Extreme Home Makeover! hehe...

So that's one idea. Any ideas for a youth program in a small town? Comment below.

Speaking of comments, so far it's pretty sad knowing that there are only 6 people who have commented in the entry that I asked for people to comment in. Really only 5 since Darrell has decided to make it clear that he never reads my blog. Ha.

Confused? Check a few entries below to the entitled "Stolen Idea from Ryan".

Ok well I've not got a whole lot to say. I'm tired. And hungry. Ha.

That's my story! The end!

Can't Sleep, Clowns Will Eat Me...

Ok yeah so I've been laying in bed for a good 5 hours now trying to get a decent sleep. It's windy out and at every shaking tree, at every moth flying by my window, this stupid dog that NEVER leaves me alone has been growling and barking and being nothing but a pain in the butt.

It doesn't help that I'm not even tired anyways and am pointlessly being kept awake when I know I need decent sleep! It doesn't help that my feet are particuarly itchy tonight and haven't let me get comfortable enough to try to settle down.

And most of all, this dog is driving me CRAZY!

If it didn't take so much energy and mean that I had to go all the way outside in the cold, damp, dark to the house, I would put her in there and let Fiona deal with her. But at the first sign of growling, Fiona would just kick her outside anyways and I'd have to deal with her barking until I let her back in.

Now I'm grumpy and awake. My eyes are sore, my feet are itchy, my tummy hurts and I sort of feel like crying from frustration.

This used to be a regular occurance in my first couple of years at Bible College - mild insomnia, that is. It's been much less in the past two years or so, which makes it all the more annoying when it does happen.

Apparently I also feel like complaining.

So I'm going to read my comics and hope I'm worn out enough after that to try to sleep. Why doesn't this ever happen when I've got a day off in the morning?

Grr...