The Time is Coming

Well as I sit here getting the office all ready for Dale to take over, I have finally realized that the time is soon coming for this chain of blogs to end.

I am all set to leave (minus the last bit of packing) and I find myself looking back on this year fondly. Even with all the tough bits aside, I can say that I have done something that I wanted to do. I have come to New Zealand. I've worked with youth. I've even gone above and beyond even my own personal expectations (with the help of God of course) in making things happen.

I've met some wonderful people - people that I will be friends with for years to come. I have had the chance to learn about a whole new culture and establish a life in a place I've never been before.

I've been stretched to limits beyond what I ever imagined in this kind of culture. Even though I wasn't necessarily grunting it out in the sub-Saharan desert living on oasis water and camel meat (that's a terrible generalization but you know what I mean), the challenges have been different and yet far greater than one would expect.

I've learned about my strengths. I've learned about my weaknesses. I've learned in which environment I thrive and in which I fall.

I think that most of all, God has taught me something about myself that I never would have learned in any different a situation: that although I have easily moved around and left people behind in different parts of the country and world, I have too often taken my family and friends for granted. I may hate Ontario as a province. I may detest Hamilton's smog and crime. I may want to avoid people that I never really planned on ever seeing again. But deep down inside, it's where I'm from. It's where I grew up and it's where my strongest grip is.

I may always be sad that I am missing a part of someone's life while I am in another place, but I've had to come to terms with the fact that no matter where I am, I will always be missing *something*. I need to concentrate on what I am *not* missing and savour that time I have with the people around me while I still have it.

I will be trading a lot to come home. I am letting go a deeper relationship with the kids I've grown to love. I am letting go watching two beautiful baby girls grow up. I am walking away from a youth center that is full of my blood, sweat and tears (mostly sweat) that was a pile of mess before we got into it. I am leaving a family that has been so wonderful and caring and super generous for letting me stay with them - and a "little brother" who has a great musical talent starting to shine through. A church small group that has supported, loved, prayed for and put up with me (especially on my hyper nights - oh wait...that's all the time isn't it?).

But I have gained a family by being here. A family that might be across the world, but will still be there for me when I need them. I really just want to say "see ya later" instead of "goodbye", because I know that someday I will come back at least for a visit.

Even though I am leaving these people behind (only physically), I can't help but look forward to being surrounded by familiar faces who have missed me and who know me better than anyone else on this planet. I look forward to my brother's zany humour. And mom's cooking. And dad's scent of Speed Stick combined with "Eau de Motor Oil". And hanging out with my cousins. And going to Wonderland with Jen. And lounging on the couch watching freaky movies with Nicki (when we're not entertained by Jayden's giggling and antics). And slurpees with Sid. And BECOMING with my youth girls! And the Alternative. And my CAT (update on that - Hobo isn't available and I want to make sure I'm giving the right kind of life to a cat so I don't want to take her unless I know for sure I can dedicate lots of time to her. So I'm visiting a kitty named Tess on Saturday who is due to be put down soon because she doesn't get along with her other foster cats). I have dates already to get together with old friends and chat about what life has been like in the past "insert appropriate amount of time here" years. And I might even start going to tap lessons again. There is SO much to look forward to!

It's a trade, really. And I don't know if I'm ready to say which trade is more worth it because in the end, it will all balance out.

For those of you in the Calgary area, I plan on coming out in February for a Winter Module course (Transition to Ministry - if you're taking it too let me know so we can par-tay!).

I will not officially sign off of this blog until I'm at home and have given one last update. In the meantime, keep your inboxes open for one last "Practically Kiwi" newsletter!

2 more sleeps til I leave. 3 sleeps til I'm home. :)