Chin Up, Jacquie...
I've been forced to question where my lifeline runs from. And where it runs to.
Things are so hard here right now. I can't go into much detail because this is a public website...I find myself feeling sorry for myself more and more each day and it's really hard to stay focused.
Again, when I think homesickness has taken a one way trip out of my heart, it comes rushing back and I've even caught myself thinking that I want to come home. Even saying it out loud.
I feel like while I'm in my weakest, everyone is making choices and changes to become stronger. And I feel like I'm being left behind. Forgotten. I know it's a silly thought but it's not just a single occurance here.
I'm feeling a lot like a failure, to be honest, about this whole job. I'm lonely and fed up with some of the drama I'm encountering both in this country and back in Canada. But I'm mostly fed up with the drama in my own heart. And I want to run away from it.
That's what I do best, after all.
I'm sorry this isn't a very pleasant entry but I feel like I need to be honest. I can't sugar coat every entry.
It just sort of feels like it's all coming down around me...all at once.
But I shouldn't be feeling sorry for myself - things could be much worse, for sure.
"Chin up, Jacquie." - two completely different people in one night
posted by Just Jaq @ 5:09 pm
6 comments
6 Comments:
Did it annoy the crap out of you when they said "Chin Up,Jacquie"?
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hey you i can honestly say i know how you feel i know you think of me as an old lady but honest kid i have been there fight it as hard as you can reach wayyyyyyyyy down deep and pull it out, if you feel sorry for yourself go with it you are human after all david and jen have both gone thru it hon love aunt marg
actually, no...it was just something that seemed coincidental...it wasn't meant to say that i was annoyed by it.
anyways, thanks mom and cousin lynne for everything.
it's nice to realize how many people really do care.
you live about as far from home as you can get. you are in a different culture, with different language, different food, different norms, different everything (heck, you drive on the wrong side of the road. freak :) )
Feeling homesick is completely normal. I wish I had stunning words of wisdom to give you that would prop that chin up so high that it could never come down. Sadly, all I can say is that no matter how alone you feel, how homesick you get, just remember you're best friend is always with you. (I'm talking about Jesus)(which I'm sure you figured out, cuz you're smart). I know what it's like to just run from problems, it seems to be my strength too. I'll pray for you. I hope you stick it out because I know that if you do you will come back so completely changed for the better. But even if you don't, that won't make me like you any less. You're an awesome girl, never forget that.
Well, that was corny bordering on sappy, so now, to balance it out: dip me in chocolate and...well, you know the rest.
hehe thanks darrell...you always know how to make me giggle.
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