29 July 2006

Clarifying Details and Making it Known

Thanks to everyone for all the support and emails and questions and even excitement about my recent decision to come home early. However, I know that MSN can be a tricky thing because I can't tell what people's emotions are like, and no one can obviously really read how I'm feeling when I talk to them or answer questions about coming home.

It's been fairly difficult thus far, but I will make it clear right now that I am absolutely at peace and delighted about coming home in September. I am taking a year off, living and working in Ontario and taking an Animal Care Worker program from Georgian College (part time evening studies in Newmarket). I will be volunteering at the SPCA in Hamilton to get some professional hands on experience working with animals. I do plan on returning to AUC for the remainder of my Youth Ministry program, but not until next year, as I have to build myself up both financially and spiritually before returning to Calgary.

So in the meantime I will be pursuing (part time) another passion of mine - animal care. I've always wanted to do it but wasn't sure when, and this new course offered in Newmarket is a perfect opportunity to be able to stay working full time, volunteering at the shelter and still gain qualifications to work in several animal care related situations for the future.

By speaking to a lot of you, I have gotten a lot of mixed feelings. People are hesitant to ask me if I'm happy or if I'm going to be completely changing directions altogether. I feel as though people are either pitying me for having to leave unexpectedly, or that they are wondering if I am dropping out or quitting my youth ministry dream. I can guarantee you all that this is not necessary, as I am quite happy to be moving forward with God's plan for me. It is a decision based on both my happiness and the sake of the youth in this town - for they are in need of someone experienced and dedicated longterm to this program.

This is not an unexpected decision, and it has been made by only me and confirmed by many people that I trust. I am quite happy and really do look forward to coming home. The only thing that might be a little sad is that my Wednesday nights will be spent in Newmarket for my class, meaning that I cannot help lead Axis, but I will still be as involved as possible with the youth and young adults in Caledonia.

With all of this said, I look forward to seeing you all when I get home. Thanks so much for your support and prayers. I do not see this as a failure on my behalf, or that I am quitting. I am simply rewiring and recharging, temporarily. It is for the good of my spiritual health and my relationships with friends, family, and God.

Please do not pity or worry about me - as I am completely at peace and confident about this decision. Be happy for me, and I hope I have not let anybody down. If I have, then I'm sorry, but I'm not giving up; please remember that. I am convinced that this is what God wants for me.

This is not the conclusions of my blogging, but it is an official announcement of a new beginning and opening more doors for myself and for others.

25 July 2006

New Pictures

I've finally put up some new pictures - these are from my roadtrip in Christchurch. Check out the Christchurch Roadtrip Photo Album to see them.

Happy looking!

Heavenly Creatures - a tale of Christchurch and Moider

Hi everyone, I'm back from Christchurch after having driven for almost 24 hours and staying just about as long as I've driven.

It was a bumpy ride up and an early start, but it felt quite short to be honest. I caught up with Holly, Rae and Neil's youngest daughter, and hung out with her all last night at her church and out with friends afterwards.

And then this morning is when the interesting stuff happened (well it was all fun but I kinda like researching things)...I went into town and found a book store, and asked about the Parker-Hulme murder which is the real events of what the movie "Heavenly Creatures" takes after. The movie is actually quite true to real life - even in locations except in one area, one of the houses, which has been long torn down, apparently.

Anyways, I only had from about 8:30 til 1:30 or so to do the things I planned on doing. So after a short shopping spree at LUSH (saw a new soap that I haven't tried), the book store (got a great NZ photo album) and the music store (Heavenly Creatures DVD), I headed to the library to start doing a little take-home research on the case itself.

As per the request to fill in all you lovely readers on this "Heavenly Creatures" fascination of mine, I will now tell the story as I have researched it thus far:

(Consider this your official warning that this is a fairly gruesome and cruel, but true, tale of two young women. Welcome to your first history lesson on New Zealand!)


Pauline Parker and Juliet Hulme met in the first year of highschool and quickly became best friends. Having shared similar pasts of illness and being the odd-girl out (Juliet moved around a lot and so didn't have many friends, and Pauline was just a strange sort of girl), they shared a lot of time together and very quickly their friendship turned into a sort of obsessive, intense one where they literally started to live in fantasy world.

They idolized Hollywood stars and dreamed of becoming renowned writers and actresses one day, and somehow discovered that there is a "fourth world" where only the "chosen" ones may visit and go to after death. This Fourth World was ruled by those that they chose to be - the actors or writers or whoever they idolized. They felt that they were superior and had an extra part of their brain that permitted them to know of and understand this fourth world, and because of this they also felt that they were apart from the law (as in their fantasy world, their rulers were also above the law and had very bad tempers).

Their parents started to notice this overly intense friendship of theirs and saw it was becoming grossly unhealthy for them, so Juliet(now 15)'s parents decided to move to South Africa and take her with them. Even before this decision, Pauline (now 16) was getting very irritated with her mother's behaviour and concern for the friendship and her daughter's health and weight (too skinny), and was trying to think of ways to rid herself of this "little problem".

When Honora Parker, Pauline's mother, declared that Pauline would *not* be permitted to move to South Africa with the Hulme family, Pauline made it known to Juliet that the only way that they would be allowed to stay together forever was if mother was dead. She was the *only* thing standing in the way of their being able to stay together as best friends forever. So they started planning the "day of the happy event", which was decided to be 22 June, 1954.

Juliet, outside her home at Ilam, snuck a half-brick from her shed and later gave it to Pauline. This would serve as part of the weapon.

The girls, on a nice sunny afternoon, were pleasant and helpful around the Parker home, and then invited Honora to go on a journey to Victoria Park for a nice afternoon stroll. After having sat in the tea room for a while, the girls carefully chose a walking path that was more secluded than the others, and was also steeper in places. This was to help the death look accidental.

About half an hour and 350m from leaving the tea room, Honora was struck on the back of the head with a half-brick stuffed into a stocking. The girls couldn't believe that the first blow didn't kill her, and knew they had to finish the job now that it was started. They each took turns hitting her over and over in a ferocious and frenzied attack - the report later stated that there were 45 wounds on her head and it was obvious that Honora Parker died where she lay.

The girls went running back up to the tea room, covered in blood, crying for help saying that "Mother has fallen and hit a head on a rock. I think she's dead!".

The next morning, the two girls were taken in for murder, and during a 6 day trial at the court house (about 2 months later), the defending attorney tried to convince the jury that these two young ladies were trapped in what was called "folie a deux", or a type of communicative insanity.

The jury was not convinced, and agreed with the prosecutor's claim that this was a "callously planned and premeditated murder committed by two highly intelligent but precocious and dirty-minded girls". The evidence convicting these girls was mostly a diary that Pauline kept, speaking - without any shred of conscience - of the upcoming "moider" of mother.

The girls, being too young to hang, were sentenced indeterminately at separate women's prisons until it was decided they were allowed to leave. They were not allowed to write to eachother. They were forbidden from ever speaking to or seeing eachother. Ever again.

They each spent about 5 years in their separate prisons, taking studies and doing the regular duties that the inmates were meant to do. Juliet was the first to be released; she quickly changed her identity and disappeared to the UK. Pauline changed her name as well, finished university and also took off to a part of the UK, unknowingly in the same country as Juliet.

It is true that not only one, but both women are living very normal sorts of lives, today.

It has been recently discovered (1997) that Pauline, now Hilary Nathan, has been living as a devout Catholic recluse in a little town called Hoo in England. She teaches horse riding lessons to children and has spent over 40 years in seclusion, paying for her crime in her own way.

Juliet Hulme is now known as Anne Perry, a very successful murder mystery novelist. She has been in the public eye for longer than Hilary (I would imagine it's much harder to keep your past a secret when you are a public figure under an assumed name).

Neither woman has any intention of contacting the other. It has been told by Anne (Juliet) that she did not mean to take part in the incident, but was afraid that if she had betrayed the plans of such a loyal friend (who stuck by her during a severe attack of TB), Pauline would have committed suicide. Hilary (Pauline) has not and will not speak to any of the press - she has simply agreed to make her present life known to New Zealand and now would like to be left in peace, as she has done so for the past 40 or so years.



It is true that perhaps this fascination of mine is a little strange. Morbid, as I call it. I first heard of the story while unable to sleep back in Fisherville, so I stayed in the basement and looked for a movie to watch in the wee hours of the morning. When I read the synopsis for this movie, all i saw was "in New Zealand" and I automatically turned to it. I also saw it was directed by Peter Jackson and am a fan of his work. It wasn't until afterwards before the credits that I discovered it was a true story.

I know that it is always a tragedy when anyone is murdered, and that woman did have a family that loved her (even if Pauline, at the time, didn't claim to). The part that saddened me the most was the fate of the girls, though they likely deserved it. What was meant to keep them together (a stupid plan, mind you, but you try being forced to leave your best friend and see how irrationally you start thinking) had been the deed that separated them. Forever.

Their friendship WAS likely unhealthy, and has been assumed to be a lesbian relationship. Both Anne and Hilary have made it known that *that* part is absolute rubbish. It may be, now, that separating the girls WAS in the best interest of both of them - but nonetheless it makes me so sad how everyone's lives were ruined. I guess this is to be expected in a murder situation - no one really wins do they?



So what did *I* see today while on my journey through Christchurch? I happened to accidentally stumble upon the Court House and took a picture of it. I'm not certain if it is *the* court house that the trial took place in, or if there is more than one. But I'm happy to assume that I found a landmark that I wanted to. I also did extensive research at the library and took home copies of the original newspaper and press releases. And just to top it off, I took a quick sidetrack to Ilam Homestead, formerly the Hulme home where the girls spent MUCH of their time. I took pictures of the house itself (on the outside - it serves as a university staff club now and I wasn't sure if I was allowed to snoop around inside) and of the shed where Juliet found the half-brick. I also bought the movie to keep for myself. The one thing I *really* wanted was to take a stroll in Victoria Park along the pathways, but time and money (lack thereof) restricted me from doing this. Perhaps it was best - that might have just gotten a little too creepy.

So that is the story of my Christchurch journey and the Parker-Hulme murder case. Perhaps you did not enjoy the fact that I put this in my journal for all to read, but I find that it is a very significant part of New Zealand history - as this was the first completely shocking and mind-boggling murder that ever hit this country. If you ever get a chance to see the movie, I suggest you do. The only thing that doesn't quite ring true (if I remember correctly) is that there is much implication and suspicion that the girls are much more than just close friends. But it's a great movie and I believe is one of Kate Winslet's first major film acting roles (though it's far from a "major" film - being filmed in 1994 with a budget of $5million USD), so you should take the time to check it out.

Thanks for having the patience to read this. I hope you don't think I'm too weird for having this "morbid fascination" :)

And with that, I try to get some sleep. Goodnight.

22 July 2006

Christchurch

So in about 6 hours I will be getting into a truck and driving for somewhere between 9 and 12 hours to get to Christchurch - which is on the more north-eastern side of the south island. One of my friends is driving up for a job and asked if I wanted to come along for the ride, coz it would be free and that way I can see a big portion of the country without having to pay anything for it.

This is rather exciting for me, because I get a chance to get out of Te Anau for a little while, and I can also go get a bit of travelling done and be able to say I've been to more than Te Anau and the closest set of "sounds" (Milford and Doubtful Sound).

So in total, I will be driving for roughly 24 hours, and staying in Christchurch for less than that. That's a little sad, but at least it's better than nothing, and I'll take what I can get at this point because I don't have the kind of money I would need to do any travelling. Plus I like road trips!

Please pray for travelling safety, as there *have* been a few locations with snow and ice problems lately and we're hoping to get the good weather all the way up and back.

I'll also get a chance to hang out with Holly, who is one of my host family's daughters. She's really neat - I've only met her once but we got along quite well while she was here. So hopefully I can get a little shopping done, and a little fast fooding (hard to find in these parts), and *really* hopefully get to the botanical gardens to check out some "Heavenly Creatures" sight seeing if it's at all possible. For those of you who don't know the story, and would like to know, leave a comment on here and I'll make sure I do a little copy and paste researching for you. It's a slightly morbid story but I am quite intrigued by it.

Okay well I should check out some info so I will catch you all around.

16 July 2006

Testing. Testing.

Apparently people have been having difficulties reading my blog lately...the page says "Done" but only has a white page. Not cool. And now it's happening to me, too.

If you can read this, please comment and I will get it in my email inbox. Hopefully sometime I will actually be able to read my own blog again. Ha.

That is all. I have a few big changes to update with but it won't be for a couple more days.

Bye!

13 July 2006

Party Time!

So tomorrow is the ever-anticipated Midwinter Christmas Party. We went into the bush and cut down a Christmas tree. We're picking up decorations and a turkey and putting together the funnest Christmas bash EVER!

We'll be decorating trees, having Carolling Duels, and making our own faces into snowmen (since we have no snow...we'll have to work with what we've got - whipped cream and lollies!). We'll be opening presents and stuffing our faces with turkey and all the trimmin's!

I'm pretty excited for this, even though tomorrow will be a LOT of scrambling around to get everything done. I still have to find a way to make the tree stand up properly, get things to make decorations with, pick up the turkey and cook everything. And decorate. And find a laptop to play the all-wonderful "Christmas Vacation" on the big screen (that is now properly secured to the wall!). And take away the Playstation 2, as there will be no attention given to the program if there's a tv and game station taunting and drawing the boys to it.

And on top of all the last minute preparation, I also have to go to worship practice in the morning. Not particularly exciting, but I'll get over it. I am not looking forward to having to wake up early, that's for certain.

And by early, I mean like 9 am. I'm sure there's someone in the world who also considers this deathly early; or at least not a good time to drag ourselves out of bed. I can't be the only person in the world, because I know for a fact that there are millions of teenagers out there who would gladly wake up sometime between lunch and dinner if they had the option. That's way longer than even I really sleep in - even after a really late night.

Anyways...these are the last few days of the school holidays, and then it's back into regular routine. I'll be glad not to have to keep the centre open as long as it has been lately. But I'll also miss the sleeping in, knowing that I can't go into work until the centre opens otherwise I'll go over-time.

It's 11:00. I'm not even *close* to sleepy. This could prove unpleasant, come 9 am.

10 July 2006

Life is Lifey...

Well hello everyone. It seems lately that I can't be bothered to update this blog, and I apologize for leaving most of you hanging in limbo with how I've been feeling lately.

Things have been kind of busy at the center, but not enough to justify not blogging. We're open twice as long during the midwinter holidays, but there seems to be the same number of kids. That's not a bad thing of course, some days I just don't feel like following around trouble kids that come in, making sure they're not trying to steal anything.

Well things have been pretty uneventful, I guess. I have been setting a schedule into motion so I can learn how to better manage my time - separate work time from free time. It's hard to do that when my only source of outside communication is located at the youth center. But anyways, things are going well and I've been trying to turn my energy towards positive and productive activities like exercising and reading.

So I guess things are best described as "meh". I'm not feeling overly upset or sad or homesick, but mostly because I'm trying to distract myself from those feelings. It's really hard being away from home, and I've said it before, but I'll say it again: God has really been teaching me that I'm more of a homebody than I ever could have imagined. But I'm trying to make the most of my time here.

I think it's really hard being the first youth pastor or youth worker in a situation, because most people's mentors are youth pastors (in my situation) who know what they're doing and can tell the intern what to do. I'm sort of left hanging, trying to feel my way around and see what works and what doesn't. It's hard, but I guess it's a good opportunity. But it's also easily discouraging.

Anyways, there really isn't much to say these days. The holidays are proving to be less exciting than I had hoped they would be. I have to work longer hours at the centre and therefore can't really take holidays of my own - there is enough time left to get bored, but not enough time left to take off for a few days and do things for myself. But the evenings are fun - as I've been spending a lot of time hanging out with Donald, who is the son part of my host family. He's 16 and has finally warmed up to me enough that we can be total goofs and have fun without him thinking I'm weird. In fact, he's a little weirder than I am, I think. You wouldn't think it, though, from his intial quiet disposition.

So we've been watching a lot of movies, staying up late and I'm helping him learn how to play the guitar. It took him less than 20 minutes to memorize the finger positioning for 4 chords, and now he's just got to work on quicker chord changes, but he's doing very well and insists on practicing a LOT...so he's prettymuch always playing when he's not out with friends or watching tv. It's encouraging to see someone who can pick up music so quickly, because I'm not a music teacher type of person. Well, I used to want to be a music teacher but I never learned how to teach. And I never really had to try hard to pick up on music, so I never learned how to learn, either. I just sort of picked it up and taught myself, I guess.

So that makes it difficult for me to teach someone who doesn't have the same talent coming naturally - it frustrates me. But I like Donald as a student. He is doing very well.

So that's it I guess. Have spent a lot of time with some friends from small group (when I say friends, I mean people who could mostly be my parents, with the exception of three or four, who could only be my much older siblings or young uncles/aunts...ha), and all of a sudden people are inviting me to meals left right and centre. I got two lunch invitations yesterday from two different families from church. How fun is that?

Alright well, it's good to be popular. Ha. Kidding.

I should be going. Gotta pick up some games and put the big movie screen back up on the wall (it fell down during a movie the other night).

Note to self: don't use stick-on hooks to hang a 30+ pound retractable screen on the wall. Screen go boom.