Sick

So I've gotta say that this week has been hectic. And in ways it feels like it was all for nothing. I've spent all week trying to get things together and planned for the start of two separate youth nights.

Last night went really well. The younger kids always enjoy themselves, as long as I keep it high-energy and fun. So easy to amuse. And they show up coz it's not like they have lives other than school and homework. We had an Easter Egg Hunt in the dark...I hid about 100 little foil eggs around the park and they went out looking for them. It was really quite good, though very hard. And in the end they only came back with about 40 or so because it was too dark. So this morning I met up with them again at 9 am and said that they could go nuts finding the rest. It was a good time. I talked about the Easter message and it seemed to say something to some of the kids, though it didn't get them coming up and making big dramatic life changing decisions in front of everyone. But that's not what I was going for. So it was a good night.

All day today I've had a terrible headache and waves of nausea...I felt completely inadequate and unprepared for tonight for the first night of having the older teens at their own program. I didn't want to go, I felt too sick. Plus there's two weeks off now so what was the use in starting it for one week before giving them a massive break? Anyways...I gritted my teeth, prepared a mellow, more personal set type of night...with coffee and less flash and more talking and interaction and relationship building...

And two of my hopeful 3 leaders showed up. Not too bad. And one youth showed up. Wonderful Nina, who has always been a really great kid, supporting the youth program even when she was the only older kid surrounded by 12 year olds. Anyways, she was the only youth to show up tonight and to be honest I wasn't surprised. It was only a TAD disappointing...I wasn't upset that it was "only" Nina because I think it was a good opportunity to build a stronger relationship with her.

But it was slightly discouraging - which I think is different from disappointing. I wasn't upset at the time but it makes me wonder if offering this program for them is even worth it if I can just take Nina out for a coffee once a week and build a better relationship with just one kid.

Anyways, it was still a decent night. We had a cuppa, played a small little game. I told a story about Easter Saturday which had a bit of a serious message to it so it wasn't very fun but it was a good reflection for all of us.

And now I am still feeling sick. My headache went away for a short while until we played the game and were laughing really hard at our inabilities to keep a steady rhythm going. Then it came back. And when I chugged the rest of my cold tea at the end of the night, the nausea came back. Good job, Jacquie.

Anyways, that's my rant for the night. Youth has been going well, though at times I get a little worn out and discouraged. At this rate I expect a burnout before the end of the year, sadly. I need to change something otherwise this isn't going to last long.

I wish I had more man power. I wish I had someone to run games, mostly. That takes a lot of time and energy when I'm already having to spend a few hours a week preparing two messages and putting together announcements...games is a lot of work but if we have no games, I have to once again try to fill MORE time with something else. It's just a never ending cycle.

I think I'm just tired. And a little frustrated. And I should get some sleep if I'm going to run Sunday School in the morning.

Goodnight.

P.S. Have you checked out Johanna Sillanpaa or Sillan & Young yet?