Home, Home on the Strange!

Well it has been nearly a week since I've been home. It has been sooooo busy, as I only had about 3 days to get in, do my visiting, do some shopping (new socks and underwear, etc) and then I had to go straight into school Monday night and then straight into moving to the new apartment on Tuesday morning. I spent all day moving that day, and then had a good long sleep yesterday before having to go BACK to school in the afternoon.

But I'm getting ahead of myself by giving you my excuses for not blogging.

My trip home was rather eventful. I had a few things that I made a mental note of remembering in order to tell you all on my very last blog.

I woke up on Friday morning (yes, I slept! w00t!) knowing that everything I had to do was almost done. ALMOST! I still had to run around and hand out thank-you cards to people's mailboxes. I planned to do that overnight on Thursday but I decided to sleep while I could - as I was actually tired for once at 11 pm! So I had to get up around 7:00 or so to hop on the pushbike (I had to bring the car I was using back to Finn and Sarah the day before) and go for a jaunt.

So I did, and it was tiring. But I got home just in time to see Donald off to school. It was a sappy moment so let's not go there. *sniff sniff*

Then after a bit more running around, I sat back at the house and Rae came home to see me off. The bus would be picking me up and she wanted to make sure to say goodbye to me as I was leaving.

I got on the bus absolutely in tears. I stayed in tears for almost half an hour straight. Blech. Goodbye Te Anau...

But shortly after putting on my headphones and listening to Idina Menzel to make me happy again, the ladies behind me piped up and asked "Oh you're from Canada?!" and then we had a bit of a chat the entire time. Like the WHOLE time they were talking to me and it made me a little car sick coz I was sitting sideways and looking backwards and the bus was weaving and swerving with the land. They were really friendly and asked for my email address when I got dropped off at the airport. They were cute - from Sydney and one of them smelled like smoke.

In the airport, I walked up to the lady at the front counter, quite pleased with myself (or kind of scared) at the fact that there weren't many other people around. This meant that I could be one of the first to check in...or one of the last. I wanted my window seat SOOOO badly coz I can't sleep without it.

Well she told me that because of the weather (ACK) they weren't allowing check-ins for the flight until 1:00 (it was noon. I had originally planned to be there at 10 or 11...good thing no one could drive me and I was made to take a bus or I would have been sitting around doing nothing for even longer!). So I went for a wander to the cafe to get some food, then I tried phoning my parents and didn't get a hold of them. Then I went into the book store looking around when all of a sudden my name gets paged over the loudspeaker. I was like "awww crap what did I do?"

It was Rae phoning me at the airport just to make sure I got there and to give me a familiar voice for a couple of minutes. How cute.

Anyways, long story short, I went on the flights and we took off with no issues. We landed in Auckland and I hung around there with nothing special happening.

On my flight to LA, I was beside an Asian guy with bad breath who was separated from his wife (as in she was in another row of seats), and I slept only about 3 hours but watched a few good movies: "The Lake House" and "DaVinci Code" and a few episodes of Will and Grace and the Family Guy. BUT when I got OFF the plane, as one of the goofy Maori flight attendants was thanking us all for coming and wishing us a happy day, the Asian couple was in front of me and as he saw them, he bowed his head low and started his string of bad Japanese with "Ahhh, domo domo..." and I can't remember the rest. The look on their faces was priceless! They weren't even close to Japenese, I don't think, and this buddy just pulled one of the most politically incorrect things ever!

But you can DO THAT when you're a kiwi! It's not grossly offensive if you make a cultural blunder when you're not completely knowledgeable about what particular "brand" of Asians you're working with (I could never tell you to be honest) or any other race of people. I had to contain my obnoxious laughter and the flight attendant saw how hard I was laughing and even made a face like "hehe I'm an ignorant kiwi" at me. It was fun.

Then nothing much happened til I got to the gate for leaving LA. I talked on the phone with my brother and made quiet jokes about the CIA and me being dropped off in Guam for being a verbal terrorist (for calling the CIA doodyheads). I know it's inappropriate, likely, but it was fun.

Mom had told me before leaving New Zealand that I should watch out for celebrities on my flight coming to Toronto for the Film Festival. I didn't even bother looking around but just as they were boarding my plane, I heard a loud obnoxious girly laugh and looked towards it.

It was SO Brittany Murphy (haha I can imagine some of your reactions right now...*COUGHrachelcurleCOUGH* and she was about to board my plane!

I was a creepy stalker most of the way home; craning my neck to get a glimpse whenever I could. Then as we were stuck circling Toronto for 30 minutes (of course due to a lightning storm) she was up joking with her buddies and being very teenager-ish. She knew that people were watching her and so she would act overly obnoxious about something and then peek out of the corner of her eye to see who is watching her. Those celebrities are sooo dramatic. Haha some of them want to be left alone but some want to rub it in our faces that we can look but we can't approach...that is how she was.

We finally landed and then found out that we were stuck on the tarmack because the ground crew wasn't allowed outside of the building due to the close lightning strike and that we would have to wait roughly a half hour at LEAST to get off the plane. Soooo I was stuck on a plane. With Brittany Murphy.

I later found out I was also stuck on that plane with Tommy Lee but I didn't see him as I was busy stalking Brittany.

We got off the plane finally and I strategically chose which line I would stand in at the customs gate - right behind the producer Brittany was travelling with (Alek something?) It was funny to be near her because she was being so dramatic and goofy. She ruined her customs card and started freaking out until some man told her that there were lots of spares at the back desk. She was running over in her stilletos (looking hilarious) and it was then that I noticed that her calves were as skinny as Mary Kate Olsen's arms. Like it was sick.

Anyways, we got through customs with lots of laughs and then we waited for our baggage to come out standing side by side. It was then that we exchanged a few words and laughs and then I had to leave because my bags were two of the first to come out.

I walked away from the airport kicking myself for not having asked her for ONE picture. Or an autograph. Anything. I know I am not necessarily a HUGE fan of her work (besides her role as Daisy Randone in Girl, Interrupted), but I knew my youth would go nuts to see a picture of me with Brittany Murphy. hehe...

Well that's the story of my flight. Sorry it's so long but hey now you don't have to put up with a whole bunch of my stories anymore coz this is my very last entry (unless I think of something else fun that I forgot to mention.


I am sitting here on my brand new bed (well, new to me) with a messy yet empty room all around. My new cat, Tess, is resting beside me and I have no phone to get a hold of the outside world.

Okay here's the plan. I'll write one more journal entry to give you guys my contact details when I know them. Like, my phone number, etc.

But for now, I would ask that you pray for me to find a job because Ruffins decided to hire someone else and didn't tell me. They told me I was prettymuch guaranteed to get hired and I relied on that instead of looking for other jobs. And now I don't have anything except 4 hours a week at the bank and that won't pay the rent. So if you could pray for that, that'd be great.

I hope that I haven't bored y'all too much but I will at least be able to look back on my time in New Zealand and remember almost every detail of my time there. In the end I don't care how long the entries are because they're more for me than they are for you, I think.

I will also try to post a few more pictures from the last couple of days in New Zealand when I get a bit more time.

And this concludes my New Zealand journal. Thanks for reading and staying updated on my life! Thanks for your comments and support and love and all the mushy feelings you gave me from the very beginning. It was nice to know that I had people from home who care that much about me.

Take care - I will leave you with a picture of my Tess. *meow*

Goodbyes

The past couple of of days have been filled with goodbyes.

Sunday afternoon was a farewell lunch at the church. I went to TCC that night and had another couple of farewells.
Monday night I went out for a farewell dinner with Rae, Neil and Donald. It was a grrreat meal. Garlic prawns. Ribeye steak. Potato bake. Honey orange glazed carrots. Boysenberry crepes for dessert. It was fabuuuuulous!
Tuesday night was my last fish and chip night and so all the kids who normally come along were there (well, actually it was all the kids who have EVER come, except one - we filled up two carloads to come along).
Last night was my last night with the Home Group (or Cell Group as some of us call it). I went to Bethany's early and had tea with her, Richard and Hannah. Hannah gave me lots of cuddles and shared some of her sick germs with me (coughing in my face. haha) so I'm feeling a little extra snotty today.
Today I went to the school to say an official goodbye to the kids - I dropped off letters to the ones that have been "the core" kids, offering them a final word of encouragement and thanks for a great year. I had a haaaard time saying bye to my girls - Te Ana and Emily, namely. They've been the most consistent girls to come along to the Edge and I have grown a particular attachment to them. Their letters were twice as long as all the ones I wrote the boys. Then I went in to visit with Fiona Humphries for the rest of her lunch hour (she's the guidance counsellor and music teacher at the school), and we had a really good long talk about the year and she had some wonderful things to say to me. We both had tears in our eyes at the end of it and she even did the typical mom thing - walking me out to my car and waiting there waving until she couldn't see me down the street anymore. That was emotional. Emily, one of "my" girls, is her daughter, so there's a particularly strong connection there.

And so tonight is my last night. I will be having tea with the family and then going to Bethany and Richard's again for one last night of McLeod's Daughters.

Let me just tell you, on the topic of McLeod's Daughters, that Rae just brought me home a SWEET AS HAT!!! It's SO outback/farm girl and I'm sooo stoked!

Ok that's all for now. Tonight is big goodbyes and I've already shed quite a few tears. Time to check my itinerary for tomorrow.

Through the Dark - KT Tunstall

As I walk awayI look over my shoulder
To see what I'm leaving behind
Pieces of puzzles
And wishes on eyelashes fail

Oh, how do I show
All the love inside my heart?
For this is all new
And I'm feeling my way through the dark

I used to talkWith honest conviction
Of how I predicted my world
I'm gonna leave it to stargazers
Tell me what your telescope says

Oh, what is in store for me now?
It's coming apartI know that its true
Cos I'm feeling my way through the dark

Trying to find a light on somewhere
Trying to find a light on somewhere
I'm finding I'm falling in love with the dark over here

Oh, what do I know, I don't care
Where I start
For my troubles are few
As I'm feeling my way through the dark
Through the dark
I'm feeling my way through the dark

The Time is Coming

Well as I sit here getting the office all ready for Dale to take over, I have finally realized that the time is soon coming for this chain of blogs to end.

I am all set to leave (minus the last bit of packing) and I find myself looking back on this year fondly. Even with all the tough bits aside, I can say that I have done something that I wanted to do. I have come to New Zealand. I've worked with youth. I've even gone above and beyond even my own personal expectations (with the help of God of course) in making things happen.

I've met some wonderful people - people that I will be friends with for years to come. I have had the chance to learn about a whole new culture and establish a life in a place I've never been before.

I've been stretched to limits beyond what I ever imagined in this kind of culture. Even though I wasn't necessarily grunting it out in the sub-Saharan desert living on oasis water and camel meat (that's a terrible generalization but you know what I mean), the challenges have been different and yet far greater than one would expect.

I've learned about my strengths. I've learned about my weaknesses. I've learned in which environment I thrive and in which I fall.

I think that most of all, God has taught me something about myself that I never would have learned in any different a situation: that although I have easily moved around and left people behind in different parts of the country and world, I have too often taken my family and friends for granted. I may hate Ontario as a province. I may detest Hamilton's smog and crime. I may want to avoid people that I never really planned on ever seeing again. But deep down inside, it's where I'm from. It's where I grew up and it's where my strongest grip is.

I may always be sad that I am missing a part of someone's life while I am in another place, but I've had to come to terms with the fact that no matter where I am, I will always be missing *something*. I need to concentrate on what I am *not* missing and savour that time I have with the people around me while I still have it.

I will be trading a lot to come home. I am letting go a deeper relationship with the kids I've grown to love. I am letting go watching two beautiful baby girls grow up. I am walking away from a youth center that is full of my blood, sweat and tears (mostly sweat) that was a pile of mess before we got into it. I am leaving a family that has been so wonderful and caring and super generous for letting me stay with them - and a "little brother" who has a great musical talent starting to shine through. A church small group that has supported, loved, prayed for and put up with me (especially on my hyper nights - oh wait...that's all the time isn't it?).

But I have gained a family by being here. A family that might be across the world, but will still be there for me when I need them. I really just want to say "see ya later" instead of "goodbye", because I know that someday I will come back at least for a visit.

Even though I am leaving these people behind (only physically), I can't help but look forward to being surrounded by familiar faces who have missed me and who know me better than anyone else on this planet. I look forward to my brother's zany humour. And mom's cooking. And dad's scent of Speed Stick combined with "Eau de Motor Oil". And hanging out with my cousins. And going to Wonderland with Jen. And lounging on the couch watching freaky movies with Nicki (when we're not entertained by Jayden's giggling and antics). And slurpees with Sid. And BECOMING with my youth girls! And the Alternative. And my CAT (update on that - Hobo isn't available and I want to make sure I'm giving the right kind of life to a cat so I don't want to take her unless I know for sure I can dedicate lots of time to her. So I'm visiting a kitty named Tess on Saturday who is due to be put down soon because she doesn't get along with her other foster cats). I have dates already to get together with old friends and chat about what life has been like in the past "insert appropriate amount of time here" years. And I might even start going to tap lessons again. There is SO much to look forward to!

It's a trade, really. And I don't know if I'm ready to say which trade is more worth it because in the end, it will all balance out.

For those of you in the Calgary area, I plan on coming out in February for a Winter Module course (Transition to Ministry - if you're taking it too let me know so we can par-tay!).

I will not officially sign off of this blog until I'm at home and have given one last update. In the meantime, keep your inboxes open for one last "Practically Kiwi" newsletter!

2 more sleeps til I leave. 3 sleeps til I'm home. :)

The Emotional Hangover

Okay so now that I'm only slightly over the shock of last night's news regarding Steve Irwin's death, I can post a little more because I've had time to think it through. But I call this post "the emotional hangover" because I feel drained, groggy and in pain as though I really am hung over. It might sound lame to people that I am really affected by the death of the Crocodile Hunter, but I don't care. Here are my thoughts and feelings...they may ramble.

It is obvious that Steve lived on the edge and led the kind of life that was bound to end this way. But that doesn't make it any less tragic, leaving behind and 8 and 3 year old, as well as a wife who was obviously head over heels for him...who else would put up with his "WOOHOO!"s and "CRIKEY!"s as if he were a child?

But he was my hero. He was one the first reason I fell in love with the general "Down Under" region of the world. He was one of my inspirations for getting involved in wildlife and animal care at some point in my life...and now I'm going for it when I get back to Canada.

Some of you might already know how much I loved the Croc Hunter. Heck, Laura Culp and Rachel Curle would tell you (I think they're the only original CBC'ers who read my blog...) that I had a picture of Steve and "I"...I pasted a picture of my head on top of Terri's...and mounted it on a big red heart cut out of construction paper. That was the centerpiece on my dormroom door. It read something along the lines of "Jacquie + Steve = 4Ever" or something lame like that...but honestly I have always said that he was my perfect man. Passionate. Enthusiastic. Unashamed. And living for all the right reasons.

I always say that there have been certain people in my life who have constantly inspired me to do something with my life. For instrumental music there was my highschool music teacher, Mrs. Smith. For dancing there were my three favourite teachers: Michelle Hill, Karyn Ringler and Michelle Biehler. For singing (which is just more of a private hobby) there have been countless musicians (but mainly the Corrs, Idina Menzel, and any cast of any musical movie I've seen). For wildlife conservation and animal care, it was and always will be Steve Irwin.

He lived a full and amazing life, and he died doing what he loved best. I have a feeling I know what he would say to us right now if he could...

"Now look at this! He's been given a fright and was only doing what stingrays do. I was in his space and he was telling me 'Back off, mate, or I'll shoot ya with my barb!' WHACK! Remember, don't try this at home! WOO!"

I can only hope he knew the way and that I'll be able to hang out with him when I get to heaven.

In Loving Memory...

On 4 September 2006, shortly after 11:00 a.m. local time, Steve Irwin (the Crocodile Hunter) was killed by a stingray barb while filming an underwater documentary in the Great Barrier Reef off the Low Isles near Port Douglas, north of Cairns, Queensland, Australia. News reports say he was stung either through his heart[ or through the left side of his chest by a stingray, causing a fatal wound. After he was stung, his crew called for medical help and the Queensland Rescue Helicopter responded. However, Irwin was immediately pronounced dead at the scene. The Queensland Police Service notified his family and released a statement for the media concerning the event. In a statement released to Australian media, Foreign Minister Alexander Downer expressed his sorrow and said that he was fond of Irwin and was very appreciative of all the work he had done in promoting Australia overseas.



The tragedy at this very moment is that Terri is currently tramping (hiking) in Australia and cannot be reached to be told of her husband's death, while the rest of the world is finding it out.

We'll miss you, Steve.

Success!

The all-nighter went off without many issues. I did almost lose my temper with one kid who often pushes me to lose it. But mostly I kept patient and decided it wasn't worth getting short with the kids on our last official night together.

The kids did a surprisingly good job cleaning up afterwards and they all went home around 9:00. I begged them not to come to the youth center til at least 6, even though it was open at 3, so I could have a nap on the couch til movie time. So I went home and slept from 9:30 to 1:00, knowing I had to get up in the afternoon to get ready to open up the center again. Well two kids showed up at 3:01, but only stayed for about 20 minutes so I got a chance to relax a while.

I put a movie on the big screen (A League of Their Own), hoping to fall asleep because usually my own movies have been seen enough that I can easily fall asleep during them. Well apparently I'm still too stoked about this movie because I was wide awake and fully attentive watching my hero Geena Davis pull the splits while catching a pop foul. So I stayed up the whole time and just waited for the kids that I *knew* were showing up at 9 for more movies.

I made the slight mistake (well, not really mistake) of inviting Te Ana and Amanda (two of the original girls in the youth group) to spend the NEXT night over at the center as well! This means that I got very little sleep the entire weekend, coz we were up gabbing for the better part of the night even after going to bed at 1. We all ran on very little sleep. But it was good coz I'm going to miss those girls a lot so I'm not going to pass up an extra opportunity to spend time with them.

Today I am completely shattered. Tired, that is. Very little sleep last night with the girls, followed by church and then my farewell lunch afterwards. It went well and I was glad to say goodbye to some of the people that I won't see all week. The *hardest* goodbyes are still yet to come, though - Tuesday night for the "core" youth who have been coming from the beginning, Wednesday night for my home group and Thursday night for Bethany, Richard and their daughter Hannah. THAT will be a super hard one I think. I always joke around about Bethany and I being best friends but to be honest she has been my best friend here and even though I'm excited to go home and see my little Jayden, it means I have to trade off by not seeing little Hannah grow up (she's about the same age as Jayden). Gutting. There's also the matter of the best behaved boys, Dylan and Cameron and their little sister Scarlett too...ack! I'm not looking forward to the goodbyes this week. I had no use in wearing make up this morning coz it was cried off less than 15 minutes into the service - Karl had two of the mother figures, Heather and Jocelyn, come up and pray for me...yeah I had very little make up left after that one.

Sooooo that's my life. I came home after the lunch, Rae cut my hair, and then I tried to sleep for a few hours but only got about an hour in before having to get back up for dinner and to go to TCC for evening church. Now it's 11:30 and even though I know I need the sleep, I'm just not tired.

This is due to a couple different things, though...I do feel tired but I'm really stoked coz I just got an email from one of my childhood heroes - one of my old dance teachers, Karyn. So since that woke me up completely, and since I'm starting to get really super excited about seeing my family and friends and catching up with old friends that I haven't seen in years...I don't see myself *getting* to sleep too easily, but I know that once I do fall asleep, there is very little chance that I will stir or wake up at all during the night.

Since Friday night I have only had a total of about 7 hours sleep. How insane is that? That's almost 3 days now.

Okay so with that said, I'm going to bed. See you all in 5 sleeps!!!

3 hours to go...

Wow. I can't believe over half of them are still going strong.

The gushy feelings are gradually turning into overtiredness and annoyance. Haha. But I can't blame them - it's not often they can choose to stay up all night and have their parents go for it.

3:00 am was supposed to be lights out time. I'm not too worried about it anymore coz 2 or 3 hours is WAY worse than no sleep at all.

My energy drink wore off about 3 hours ago. Blargh!

I hear a pillow fight. I should go break it up before another sleeping person gets grumpy.

Ouch

Yup. It's hitting me right about now.

I won't see these kids through their teenage years. Or even likely their twenties.

Last night I made the girls promise me that when I come back to visit in 5 years or so, that they won't be "too cool" to be excited to see me.

Tonight, I can't face them. It's 3:45 or so and while sitting in a huge crowded room full of pillow fights and arm wrestling, I started crying. I don't think anyone saw me but now I can't quite slow it down enough to go back looking somewhat normal.

And to think I'm not even supposed to be that emotional these days...

Remember how I kept referring to "the weight of my decision" before?

I'm feeling it. Big time.

4 Hours Down - 10 to Go

The kids have been here since 7:00 pm. It's 11:15 and I'm absolutely knackered. I didn't get my nap in today that I hoped to have before having to be awake with these kids most of the night.

We played about 7 games (messy and not), and it was really great because I had two wonderful helpers to clean up after the kids so that we wouldn't waste a whole lot of time by having me or the kids do it. Then we had a SingStar competition and a Need for Speed Underground 2 tournament. The kids played pool out in the car port and now they're watching "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow". Next is "Daddy Daycare" and then it's lights out (hopefully they'll be tired enough).

I only bought myself 2 caffeine enhanced drinks for the night and I already had one about 2 hours ago. I feel a bit of a crash but I don't want to drink the other one for at least another 2 hours. I may have to bust into the chocolate.

The kids are behaving well so far and there are triple the amount of kids that I was expecting. There would be a few more but they had previous commitments to attend to, and one is grounded from sleepovers altogether. So we would've had 23 but we've got 19. That's quite enough for me anyways, since I'm the only leader actually staying over the whole night.

I find myself having a hard time keeping with discipline and respect because it's my last "Edge" in Te Anau and I don't want to kick anyone out. I have, however, taken someone's cellphone battery away (as I threatened to do if anyone was ever using them). That's about the worst so far. Even the kids that often drive me nuts are super cute to me tonight and I'm having quite a good time - though it's nice to be able to sit back in my office and know that they're all safely locked in the building and that there are only two possible couples that could be making out. But they're super talkative and as long as I can hear one from each couple I know we're safe...hehe

Wow. 12 and 13 year old "couples". How odd.

Well that's all for now. It was nice to get a 10 minute break but I should go watch the movie with them (even though they're not really paying much attention...just talking mostly but I don't care as long as they're not running amuck (is that the right spelling?)

Ok time to go. Update tomorrow probably.