Bedroom Lock-In

Today is a particularly emotional day for me. I can't fully explain why but I'm feeling really lonely and discouraged. I felt like I had gotten over being homesick, and I really did feel like it was gone for good.

But today I've been a recluse all day. I've used the excuse that I have a paper to write (that I haven't started working on) to stay in my room all day. I don't feel like coming out and I've been locked up in here for about 6 or 7 hours now.

I know that's not good for me - I'm sure anyone's advice would be to force myself out of the house and go for a walk or something. But I feel like I'm all walked out - I've taken several trips around town and gotten sunburnt sitting by the lakeside reading. I feel like I'm all Te Anau'd out, as far as going out and spending time on the town is concerned.

Anyway...I'm feeling pretty lonely. And pretty emotional. Perhaps it's really starting to set in that I'm here for a pretty long time. I won't just wake up tomorrow smelling bacon cooking down in the kitchen (or to the smoke detector going off...or my dog barking incessantly at seemingly nothing).

Ok so maybe the dog thing is a lie coz Sheba often growls or barks at the quietest noise in the morning - and thus confirming my intense disliking for any dog smaller than a border collie...but she's probably my best friend here right now.

Another reason I know I'm feeling this way is because Vanessa (the daughter of the family I'm staying with) has gone to Dunedin for an undetermined period of time...and so far she's probably the only real friend I've got here so I'm already starting to feel pretty lonely knowing I won't see her for at least a week.

If you think of it, please pray for this whole situation. She's thinking of moving to Dunedin for a variety of reasons - pray for clarity and wisdom in making that decision. Also pray for me as I try to battle loneliness and homesickness. But for now I should make myself slightly presentable and head into the house - I'm sure tea'll be up soon.

Cheers.