Discouragement Already?

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now. Actually I'm feeling really quite discouraged because it seems I have a much harder job ahead of me than I ever thought. Actually, likely more difficult than even the pastors and adults ever thought.

What is more difficult? Ministering for the first time to kids who haven't had exposure to Christianity? Or is it trying to re-load the God software into the teenagers who know but just don't care? It seems to be this way with even the core Christian kids. It's hard because I haven't even found a single core youth or young adult who I would pick as a role model for the lost - or even for the wandering...and these are all the ones that John told that we're "depending on them".

A lady said to me this past Sunday that there seems to be a big thing going on where a little while ago, so many of these kids were on fire for God and they've all, at the same time, decided to rebel and put all the Christianity stuff on the back burner. I can't believe the age that kids are smoking at, though it's not any different from Canada's statistics. I guess I just am more thrown back by it because I'm older looking down wondering what they're thinking.

I'm sort of glad that I'm already working through this Doug Fields book "Your First Two Years in Youth Ministry". I've already gone through the chapter on Discouragement and already started preparing myself for it. I just wish there were a core set of kids that didn't seem so far gone.

It's the trajectory thing I've heard before in my Strategies of Youth Ministry class...the kids hearts are going the wrong way. The core kids...the ones who are supposed to be leaders...are going the wrong way and I don't know how to respond. I've got one candidate in mind for a leader but I still don't know him well enough to determine if he's got the trajectory needed to be a leader.

I wish that it were possible for a teenager to form the kind of deep friendship that enables complete honesty and vulnerability with those they trust. I wish they had the ability to say more than "I dunno." or "Yeah. Cool.", or rather, that they took the opportunity, when someone really genuinely cares about them, to open up. I know they have so much more going on in their heads and I want to know.

Hmm. Frustration. Perhaps a sense of pre-game failure? Cold feet?

Likely.

Sometimes I think it would've been easier on my heart in an African country or somewhere that God is simply unknown rather than shoved into the back of our minds as a result of apathy, peer pressure and self absorbedness. It would be so much more encouraging, even if it meant using a monkey as a guard dog or riding a bike amidst the psycho drivers in the most polluted city of the world (if I recall correctly)...then again, no one said it was going to be easy. Bah.


On another note, I've been asked to preach about and serve Communion on Sunday at the TCC (Te Anau Christian Centre, if I haven't clarified that before). John asked me if I would like to start getting into preaching. I think it might slightly be a test run to see how I do on "smaller" jobs, but I don't see how 10 minutes of preaching on Communion is a small job. ha.

So I worked on that most of this morning and I'm feeling quite good about it. I'll be talking about focusing solely on God while taking Communion, and having a right heart before doing it. The theme is "be still", really. I've still got some work to do on it but it's getting there.

Anyways, these are my thoughts today. Please pray for me as I try to stay encouraged, strong and patient with these kids. I don't want to feel like I've failed before I even begin...